Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Halleluia
Perhaps another day I will feel like a longer post, but for now, let's just say that there is "joy in Mudville." The PET scan for metastasized cancer was negative.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
PET Scan - Hoping to be a cool cat, not a hot dog
This morning at 7:45 I casually arrived at the Forsyth Radiology Center, dressed appropriately in clothing without zippers, snaps, or other metal fasteners. As if it were an ordinary day, I smiled at the nurses and technicians, chatted amiably, presented my left arm for IV insertion, received the dose of radioactive glucose, and grabbed up a couple of magazines to peruse while the stuff pumped through my vessels to reach all the important parts...my brain, my bones, my liver, my lungs. I spent a very pleasant hour, lounging in a recliner under a warm blanket, waiting for the stuff to do its duty.
As I understand it, the radioactive glucose travels around the body, and since cancer cells LOVE sugar, they will gobble it up greedily and show up on the scanner as a "hot" spot. I am hoping, of course, to find that there are no such spots anywhere in my body.
The time in the scanner is short...maybe 20 or 30 minutes, and since I was covered with another warm blanket, I think I slept a bit. Unlike an MRI machine, this scanner is quiet, and except for an occasional shift in or out of the open ended tube, I couldn't tell there was anything happening. The staff is so professional, yet nonchalant, that one could forget that this two hours on a Wednesday morning was an "edge of the cliff" kind of experience for me. Most of the time, I wasn't thinking of the outcome; but when I came out of the machine, the thought washed over me that the answer was waiting on the monitors in the next room. But I am going to have to wait a whole week before finding out whether I am a "cool cat" or a "hot dog."
Stay tuned.
As I understand it, the radioactive glucose travels around the body, and since cancer cells LOVE sugar, they will gobble it up greedily and show up on the scanner as a "hot" spot. I am hoping, of course, to find that there are no such spots anywhere in my body.
The time in the scanner is short...maybe 20 or 30 minutes, and since I was covered with another warm blanket, I think I slept a bit. Unlike an MRI machine, this scanner is quiet, and except for an occasional shift in or out of the open ended tube, I couldn't tell there was anything happening. The staff is so professional, yet nonchalant, that one could forget that this two hours on a Wednesday morning was an "edge of the cliff" kind of experience for me. Most of the time, I wasn't thinking of the outcome; but when I came out of the machine, the thought washed over me that the answer was waiting on the monitors in the next room. But I am going to have to wait a whole week before finding out whether I am a "cool cat" or a "hot dog."
Stay tuned.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Vulnerability
I've had vulnerability in my mind a lot lately. (This is not nearly as much fun as having "Carolina in my mind" - apologies to James Taylor.) About two weeks ago, I was feeling pretty much on top of the world, eating right, exercising, working outside, planning things. In the midst of that I realized that breasts can be a big hindrance, and that, in many ways, without them, I feel like the powerful, almighty, invincible pre-teen girl that I was 52 years ago....breastless and glad to be.
Growing up in the rural South, I spent a lot of time outside in the summertime, and, until I was about 8 or 9 years old, I was allowed to go "bare-breasted" in the warm weather. There was a sense of equality that came with that shirtlessness. Then came the horrible day when my mother insisted that I was too old to go shirtless. It was a real downer for me. Breasts make a woman vulnerable. Their growth on her chest brings attention, and she cannot hide them. For an uncertain pre-teenager, breasts are just one more differentness to have to deal with. They are easily bumped and bruised, and become one more reason that girls must be treated differently.
Don't get me wrong.; I understand the utility, even the fun, of having breasts. But my memories of my years without noticeable mammary glands are decidedly positive ones. The minute the darn things started sprouting, I began to experience a differentness that was not altogether welcomed. No more tackle football, more closely monitored after-school activities, changed expectations about relationships, etc.
I know breast cancer is not the number one killer of women; I believe that award goes to heart disease. But cancer is still a big and ugly plague on womankind, and it does seem particularly cruel that the part of a woman's body which has made her vulnerable and visible as a woman since puberty should be the very part of the body susceptible to this crappy disease.
This rambling post has not "come together" as smoothly as I would like. The bottom line, I guess, is this: doing without breasts has reminded me of how powerful I felt as a girl and how some of that power faded when I entered puberty, perhaps because I felt more vulnerable. Now, I am really enjoying that feeling of freedom again, going breastless (and sometimes braless) into my future.
Growing up in the rural South, I spent a lot of time outside in the summertime, and, until I was about 8 or 9 years old, I was allowed to go "bare-breasted" in the warm weather. There was a sense of equality that came with that shirtlessness. Then came the horrible day when my mother insisted that I was too old to go shirtless. It was a real downer for me. Breasts make a woman vulnerable. Their growth on her chest brings attention, and she cannot hide them. For an uncertain pre-teenager, breasts are just one more differentness to have to deal with. They are easily bumped and bruised, and become one more reason that girls must be treated differently.
Don't get me wrong.; I understand the utility, even the fun, of having breasts. But my memories of my years without noticeable mammary glands are decidedly positive ones. The minute the darn things started sprouting, I began to experience a differentness that was not altogether welcomed. No more tackle football, more closely monitored after-school activities, changed expectations about relationships, etc.
I know breast cancer is not the number one killer of women; I believe that award goes to heart disease. But cancer is still a big and ugly plague on womankind, and it does seem particularly cruel that the part of a woman's body which has made her vulnerable and visible as a woman since puberty should be the very part of the body susceptible to this crappy disease.
This rambling post has not "come together" as smoothly as I would like. The bottom line, I guess, is this: doing without breasts has reminded me of how powerful I felt as a girl and how some of that power faded when I entered puberty, perhaps because I felt more vulnerable. Now, I am really enjoying that feeling of freedom again, going breastless (and sometimes braless) into my future.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Alligators Again
About two weeks ago, I was out of town and had another alligator dream, which I want to note in this blog, just for the record. At the time I woke up, the dream was quite vivid, and I should have written a few notes at that time. But I didn't, so what I have left are a few shreds of images and some thoughts about meaning.
In this dream, which was in vivid color, I spend a lot of time running.....I think to help someone. At least one of the times, I believe I am somewhere near my hometown, out in the country. In each dream sequence, my running takes place on rather narrow strips of solid ground between watery canals. And in those canals are....you guessed it....ALLIGATORS. The water is clear enough to see the gators swishing along under the surface, although the dominant color of the water is rusty brown. Or really, more like the color of iced tea.
During the dream, I focus on the need to get somewhere fast, rather than on the alligators. However, I am conscious that they are next to me, and that a foolish step to one side or the other will put me in the water with them. I watch them very closely as I run.
The rest of the dream is lost in that place that dreams go. However, the alligators in the canal have stayed with me. Here is my interpretation. Right now I am on a pretty narrow path toward health, and I am running as hard as I can to save my own life. As long as I can maintain the pace and keep to the narrow path, I have a chance to evade the alligators. I know that one of them can decide to crawl up out of the canal; but, at the moment, they seem content to stay in their place without bothering me.
In this dream, which was in vivid color, I spend a lot of time running.....I think to help someone. At least one of the times, I believe I am somewhere near my hometown, out in the country. In each dream sequence, my running takes place on rather narrow strips of solid ground between watery canals. And in those canals are....you guessed it....ALLIGATORS. The water is clear enough to see the gators swishing along under the surface, although the dominant color of the water is rusty brown. Or really, more like the color of iced tea.
During the dream, I focus on the need to get somewhere fast, rather than on the alligators. However, I am conscious that they are next to me, and that a foolish step to one side or the other will put me in the water with them. I watch them very closely as I run.
The rest of the dream is lost in that place that dreams go. However, the alligators in the canal have stayed with me. Here is my interpretation. Right now I am on a pretty narrow path toward health, and I am running as hard as I can to save my own life. As long as I can maintain the pace and keep to the narrow path, I have a chance to evade the alligators. I know that one of them can decide to crawl up out of the canal; but, at the moment, they seem content to stay in their place without bothering me.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Chew, Chew, Chew Your Food
Some things are best left to the imagination. So, get your imagination revved up to figure out what happens when one begins to eat a minimum of two cups of cruciferous vegetables each day. Cruciferous vegies are things like broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, and brussels sprouts. You got it....things that, when they are cooking, smell like a grammar school lunchroom , and can smell worse at another point in their life cycle. And they require a healthy digestive system to get them all happily processed.
I learned, via my Naturopathic doc, that I really need to chew my vegetables very thoroughly in order to avoid the unpleasant side effects of this assault on my digestive tract. Because there are enzymes in saliva that "kick start" the digestive process, there is less work for the old stomach and gut to do. So, it seems that my mother was right; I do need to eat more slowly. And, guess what! It really works! No more concern about being able to leave the privacy of my own home after a meal!
Amazingly, I find that I never get hungry between meals on this regimen, and my weight is staying steady at my "pre-cancer-diagnosis-optimum-weight." Although weight control was not at the top of my list of concerns when I decided to attempt this dietary re-make, the pleasure of eating plenty while staying slim provides great positive reinforcement for staying true to the diet. Plus, I just like the food.
In closing, here's a little ditty to help you remember this important information:
I learned, via my Naturopathic doc, that I really need to chew my vegetables very thoroughly in order to avoid the unpleasant side effects of this assault on my digestive tract. Because there are enzymes in saliva that "kick start" the digestive process, there is less work for the old stomach and gut to do. So, it seems that my mother was right; I do need to eat more slowly. And, guess what! It really works! No more concern about being able to leave the privacy of my own home after a meal!
Amazingly, I find that I never get hungry between meals on this regimen, and my weight is staying steady at my "pre-cancer-diagnosis-optimum-weight." Although weight control was not at the top of my list of concerns when I decided to attempt this dietary re-make, the pleasure of eating plenty while staying slim provides great positive reinforcement for staying true to the diet. Plus, I just like the food.
In closing, here's a little ditty to help you remember this important information:
Chew, chew, chew your sprouts,
broccoli and kale;
If you chew just like a cow;
Chew it then and chew it now.
You'll not produce a gale.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Eating Like It's My Job
Over fifty years of shopping for food and preparing food in certain ways creates some deeply ingrained habits; and changing habits requires focus, dedication, determination, and a belief that what you are doing is worth the effort. I am hip-deep in changing lifelong habits, and I am finding that it is incredibly time-consuming. Those who know me well, and who know how much I love food, will find it hard to believe that I actually do NOT like thinking constantly about what I am going to put in my mouth; but it's true. I will be glad when some of these changes become habits, so my brain can be freed up for other things....like thinking about what time I can take a nap.
Right now my goal each day is to eat nutrient-dense meals. Before this, I thought I was eating a healthy diet....and by most standards, I probably was. For instance, I haven't eaten "fast food" in decades, unless you count an occasional salad at Subway or an indulgent 6 pack of chicken strips at Chik-fil-A as "fast food." However , I have discovered that I really have been robbing myself of a great way to fill the tank by not filling up on fruits and vegetables, but that it takes planning. In short, I have been including so many more vegies and fruits in my daily diet, that it is consuming big hunks of time just keeping them on hand, not to mention preparing them. The up side of all this is that I am seldom hungry between meals.
The best thing I recently have discovered is that some frozen vegetables, like cauliflower and brussel sprouts, turn out very well roasted with olive oil. Previously, I had roasted only fresh vegetables, which I love; but frozen ones are so much cheaper, easier to keep on hand, and entirely acceptable as a side item with lunch. I might still serve fresh to guests, but for my daily servings of cruciferous vegetables, frozen works just fine.
And liquids. Lord have mercy. I am floating, but still not drinking enough on most days. Of course, because I am taking additional vitamins and supplements, sometimes between meals, I do try to drink a significant amount of water when I am washing them down. And I know that soon my body will want more liquid as it gets accustomed to being supplied with more.
All in all, I feel so pleased with the steps I have taken toward better health. Whether or not this effort prevents a recurrence of breast cancer, only time will tell. But in the meantime, I feel much happier with myself for having taken charge of this part of my life. Plus, I know that I am healthier in general, with more energy and a positive outlook. And if the cancer does recur, I will still be ahead of the game in my physical and mental well-being.
Right now my goal each day is to eat nutrient-dense meals. Before this, I thought I was eating a healthy diet....and by most standards, I probably was. For instance, I haven't eaten "fast food" in decades, unless you count an occasional salad at Subway or an indulgent 6 pack of chicken strips at Chik-fil-A as "fast food." However , I have discovered that I really have been robbing myself of a great way to fill the tank by not filling up on fruits and vegetables, but that it takes planning. In short, I have been including so many more vegies and fruits in my daily diet, that it is consuming big hunks of time just keeping them on hand, not to mention preparing them. The up side of all this is that I am seldom hungry between meals.
The best thing I recently have discovered is that some frozen vegetables, like cauliflower and brussel sprouts, turn out very well roasted with olive oil. Previously, I had roasted only fresh vegetables, which I love; but frozen ones are so much cheaper, easier to keep on hand, and entirely acceptable as a side item with lunch. I might still serve fresh to guests, but for my daily servings of cruciferous vegetables, frozen works just fine.
And liquids. Lord have mercy. I am floating, but still not drinking enough on most days. Of course, because I am taking additional vitamins and supplements, sometimes between meals, I do try to drink a significant amount of water when I am washing them down. And I know that soon my body will want more liquid as it gets accustomed to being supplied with more.
All in all, I feel so pleased with the steps I have taken toward better health. Whether or not this effort prevents a recurrence of breast cancer, only time will tell. But in the meantime, I feel much happier with myself for having taken charge of this part of my life. Plus, I know that I am healthier in general, with more energy and a positive outlook. And if the cancer does recur, I will still be ahead of the game in my physical and mental well-being.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Naturopathic Approach to Health
Where to begin? First of all, my mood is back in the normal zone. I am feeling even more hopeful and energized than I was when I wrote the last entry. My appointment with Dr. Jillian Sarno Teta at the Naturopathic Health Clinic went very well, from my perspective, in that she offered easy positive steps which I can take to strengthen my immune system, cleanse that old workhorse - the liver, and get rid of excess estrogen, which is the baddie which can fuel the cancer. As soon as I left her office I felt better, mainly because I regained some control.
I am not foolish enough to believe that I am actually in control of the ultimate outcome. However, I do feel stronger, knowing that I have done everything in MY power to assist my body in throwing off this invader. If there is a recurrence, I will accept it more easily if I have "done my part" in the fight.
Second, the prescription for my health involves some dietary changes, but nothing that has proven to be onerous, and, for me, being engaged with a project has its own set of rewards. In general, I am just eating more lean protein and less fat; avoiding sugar; bumping up my intake of cruciferous vegies; sticking to organic meats, fruits, and vegies; drinking tons of water and other good liquids; making sure that my daily intake of food is nutrient dense; and generally avoiding bad fats, processed foods, coffee, and black tea. The hardest part for me is taking in enough liquid. I feel like I drink and drink and drink, and still I do not meet the basic requirement of one half my body weigh in ounces per day.
Another thing I wanted from this meeting was an assessment of the vitamins and supplements I was taking. Over time, my "bag o'pills" had gotten rather hodge-podgy, and I was beginning to think I didn't really know what I needed. There has been so much press lately about Vitamin D, Calcium, etc., and I just couldn't decide which way to jump. Dr. Jillian helped with that problem also. Of course, she wants me to take the brand of vitamins and minerals that she recommends, because the drugstore brands I was using are not compounded in the most bio-available way. No problem there. I am willing to pay the extra money for the assurance that I am taking good quality supplements in the correct dosages at the right time of day, etc.
Additionally, Dr. Sarno put me on some enzymes. I have read quite a bit about enzyme therapy for cancer treatment, and although it is still looked at askance by the medical establishment, I believe that the day will come when its efficacy will be more widely acknowledged. I mentioned in an earlier post about the research concerning papaya leaf tea, which releases a vital enzyme known to weaken cancer cells. I am still drinking that tea on occasion, but I am glad to be taking these pills twice a day as well.
Finally, as a result of this new diet, I have reaped another benefit: I have lost the last few pounds left over from the gain during chemotherapy. I cannot attribute this loss to any other source because my exercise habits are pretty much the same.
I am not foolish enough to believe that I am actually in control of the ultimate outcome. However, I do feel stronger, knowing that I have done everything in MY power to assist my body in throwing off this invader. If there is a recurrence, I will accept it more easily if I have "done my part" in the fight.
Second, the prescription for my health involves some dietary changes, but nothing that has proven to be onerous, and, for me, being engaged with a project has its own set of rewards. In general, I am just eating more lean protein and less fat; avoiding sugar; bumping up my intake of cruciferous vegies; sticking to organic meats, fruits, and vegies; drinking tons of water and other good liquids; making sure that my daily intake of food is nutrient dense; and generally avoiding bad fats, processed foods, coffee, and black tea. The hardest part for me is taking in enough liquid. I feel like I drink and drink and drink, and still I do not meet the basic requirement of one half my body weigh in ounces per day.
Another thing I wanted from this meeting was an assessment of the vitamins and supplements I was taking. Over time, my "bag o'pills" had gotten rather hodge-podgy, and I was beginning to think I didn't really know what I needed. There has been so much press lately about Vitamin D, Calcium, etc., and I just couldn't decide which way to jump. Dr. Jillian helped with that problem also. Of course, she wants me to take the brand of vitamins and minerals that she recommends, because the drugstore brands I was using are not compounded in the most bio-available way. No problem there. I am willing to pay the extra money for the assurance that I am taking good quality supplements in the correct dosages at the right time of day, etc.
Additionally, Dr. Sarno put me on some enzymes. I have read quite a bit about enzyme therapy for cancer treatment, and although it is still looked at askance by the medical establishment, I believe that the day will come when its efficacy will be more widely acknowledged. I mentioned in an earlier post about the research concerning papaya leaf tea, which releases a vital enzyme known to weaken cancer cells. I am still drinking that tea on occasion, but I am glad to be taking these pills twice a day as well.
Finally, as a result of this new diet, I have reaped another benefit: I have lost the last few pounds left over from the gain during chemotherapy. I cannot attribute this loss to any other source because my exercise habits are pretty much the same.
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