Well, I certainly did not intend for this blog to turn into an examination of my subconscious, but last night's dream just calls out to be recorded, embraced, remembered, and enjoyed. It seems that alligators are here to stay, and it might not be all bad. Here's the scene: I am a little girl...maybe 8 or 9.....and I am sitting on a dock with my father. This is my father in a much younger version than I usually picture him, very slim and fit with no grey in his hair. There is a baby alligator in the water, and he keeps making those cute baby alligator noises that I remember from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Interestingly, he has a very blunt snout....not like the big, bad, toothy one that I saw gaping wide in my previous dream. I ask my father if I may get in the water and catch the baby alligator for a pet, and he says "yes" he thinks I am mature enough to take care of it and that he will watch very closely while I am in the water to make sure that the mother alligator doesn't bother me when I take the baby. So I slip in the water very carefully, to keep the baby from being frightened, and I swim around the corner of the dock (the water is very warm and soothing) and scoop up the baby gently from behind and hand it up to my father on the dock. Then I climb out of the water and sit with the baby in my lap.
Here's what I choose to take away from this dream. First of all, my father and I did have a wonderful relationship, and I choose to think that much of my belief in myself comes from his affirmation. In this dream, he certainly affirms my maturity and good sense. I also feel very safe, because he was watching out for the big, bad alligators. If I continue to see the alligator as a symbol for cancer, as I am sure it was in the first dream, then I choose to see that in this dream, cancer is something to be tamed, appreciated, and cared for in the right way. I need to tend to it, as one tends to a pet: feed it properly, teach it that I am the boss, not let it run loose and wreak havoc in the neighborhood, and appreciate the things I can learn from being responsible for it while it lives. Finally, the most striking image in my head is the blunt nose of this baby alligator. Without the sharp snout, the beast has no clout.