Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I'm the Lucky One

Today I had a long phone visit with my good friend Betty Cloutier, whose sister-in-law is going through chemo for the same kind of breast cancer that I have. Hearing about her experience with treatment brings me to my knees. She has been hospitalized at least once, I think for terribly low blood counts. Nausea has been a constant problem, so she has lost quite a bit of weight. And now she has severe edema.

I, on the other hand, feel absolutely normal. I have plenty of energy, my blood counts have stayed within normal ranges, I am eating everything in sight, exercising every day, and sleeping well. There is no accounting for this difference in response, but I am SO grateful that my body...for some unknown reason...is responding so well. Also, I am trying to avoid a mind game that I have been warned about. Apparently, some cancer patients begin to think that the worse they feel during chemo, the better the chemo must be working. On the flip side of that magical thinking, I have sometimes wondered if the drugs can be working at all, since my side effects have been so mild. From now on I am just going to concentrate on being grateful for the miracles that come my way.

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